Why Confidence Is a Skill Not a Miracle

Rebecca Scott
5 min readFeb 22, 2021

Mindset isn’t everything.

Photo by Constant Loubier on Unsplash

I watched a training by Mel Robbins on GrowthDay last week. She was talking about confidence and what stops us from doing anything.

Mel Robbins explained that confidence is not something that magically shows up. It is a skill you must develop. The first time you do something new, you are more than likely going to fail. The potential for failure is not a reason to give up. It is a reason to learn, so you have more knowledge and experience to help you through the next attempt. This method is also known as the Confidence Competency Loop.

Mel Robbins’ definition of confidence “is the willingness to try”.

“Willingness” means to be ready to do something.

“To try” means to learn without knowing how it will end. It is a brave state of mind where you know enough to start, and you know the potential reward is greater than the risk.

My definition of confidence “is to be ready to keep trying”.

How do you know if you are ready to do something?

Stop worrying about being ready because you will never be ready. You will never have exactly what you need, nothing more and nothing less. There will always be one piece of equipment that you think will make your journey easier. There will always be something you purchased because you thought you needed, but you do not. That is not a reason to not try because you will not know what you do need and do not need until you start.

What is something you want to happen this year?

Mel Robbins asked two questions in the beginning of her coaching call. The second question was: “What is something you want to happen this year?”

My original answer was financial freedom. Except that was not my true answer. Financial freedom is my easy answer. This is the answer I use because that is what everyone else says. By saying financial freedom I am following the crowd instead of my interests and goals.

Mel Robbins called out the B.S. of that answer. Me and everyone else on the coaching were giving easy answers and lowering our goals. She talked about how we down-size our dreams because we do not believe we can reach…

Rebecca Scott

I’m a Labrador lover, learning addict, keep it simple activist, and a Canadian East Coast girl just trying to earn my Crazy Aunt Mug.